Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Yes i am still doing report, i wonder what time can i sleep today.
Was having my japanese lesson today and i checked my hp for sms, i saw Joy's sms, telling me she's getting married in Dec and asking me to be her sister. We've been friends since secondary school and we're very very good friends together with the other 2. I was like @.@, she has been planning all along to get marry on 101010, initially was this year but because of some family traditions they decided to shift it to 101010. Was seriously shock to hear her say this Dec!! Haha obviously something happen. But that was only a guess. Untill when the four of us chatted on msn, yep my guess was right! Haha. Oh my goodness, I cannot believe it. This is the first time, one of my closest friend is getting married and soon with a child at age 23. Haha. And i am still studying? I feel so immature, maybe because of my surroundings. Well i am really happy for her but the worst thing is she ROM already without tell us. We've super angry with her la, we've been so close lei, never even let us know. =.= She's going to get it on her wedding day, we promised! So now Dec i have 4 weddings to attend and i am broke!! Oh my goodness, why everything falls in dec? 4 weddings lei. =.=" And they want to standardise the dress code which means i have to spend money on dress again and with ang pao. Oh no. Oh no Oh no. Broke.
Saw her ROM photos, hmms.. it's a new beginning of another phase of life. When i see her signing the cert, it's like...wa... this is for life. You must really find the special someone whom you can live for life otherwise it will be very miserable.
I am still in search for my half apple. Still praying, hopefully there's a open door somewhere. Hmms.. i know he is generally a really nice and helpful person to the people around him, good family background but he's not a christian. And I don't want to risk committing, who knows what will happen after a few years. Love is really fragile, unless it's God's centered otherwise, it's unpredictable.
12:09 AM
-Jing Juan-
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Currently busy doing my reports, just completed one. One more to go. And it's almost 1am. Have been burning night oil ever since months ago. Feel quite sick this week, physically sick, down with flu, sore throat and fever. This is the first time I never rest despite that I am sick. Well, simply have no time. Abit sad though.
In the midst of doing report. I suddenly thought of this song. If you are not the one by Daniel Beddingfield. Never really sit down and listen to this song before, I don't usually listen to english songs. But this song made a significant impact in my life before. Don't really understand what the lyrics meant before, but now I do.
No one can replace the closeness that we share
12:40 AM
-Jing Juan-
Wednesday, October 07, 2009
1 Tess 5:16-18
Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
Yes i should rejoice! For everything under heaven comes from God. and Keep on praying and give thanks no matter what. Many times, we only give thanks when things are doing right, going in the direction we want. But, how about the times when we're in the utter most difficult times of our struggles. In this times, God says give thanks too! And this is His will. So i am always against His will, i guess.
Many times, we focus only on the worst things in our lives that we forget to focus on what we should be thankful for. I guess i never express my gratitude at all.
Lord, I shall rejoice again in all circumstances.Was doing my QT, today's verse: Guard your heart. Nothing ever will except the word of God.
12:42 AM
-Jing Juan-
Monday, October 05, 2009
Finally my 40% test is over. =)
Lord, if it's not, then close the door and let me move on.
11:58 PM
-Jing Juan-
Saturday, October 03, 2009
Lowest period of my life. I've never experience anything like this before. I think i don't have any stress management, i should really go and take up the crisis stress management module. I'm very unhappy. Be it results, among friends, servings or other stuffs. It's all screwed up.
My results is never good and no matter how hard I try, it still remains the same. And because of results, I've sacriface plenty of things. Sometimes I just feel like digging a hole and jump in, I don't know how to face my surroundings, i would rather hide myself up. I'm very strain, sometimes i just hope to find someone who will be able to share, i just want some encouragement, some motivation from people around me. But in the end, i'm always telling myself, can't give up must try again.
In church, i feel super lousy, i have lots of complaints and unhappiness. In one whole day, when i am super stress, facing difficulty with my tutorial, don't really know who to seek help. When i receive an sms, I'm quite happy, at least i can have some form of communication. But all the smses i received were all about 事工 and 事工. No other smses but 事工. Not that i'm unwilling to do anything but can don't only sms me 事工? I always try my best to do things, but i feel that can there be more than just telling me to think of ideas, suggestions, the whole CG is everyone's, sometimes can we get others involve? I really have no more suggestions already. I'm super super not in the mood to think of those things, sometimes i just want to concentrate on my work. I know this is my own problem but, i just want to let out abit of my unhappiness. I'm also lost, i don't know where to go, what to do, i feel super lousy.
I'm just super unhappy, there's no longer happiness in me, i feel that my spirit and my soul is super drained, super dry, 心灵很悲哀，非常累，没力气的感觉，每天都很不开心。I will still laugh, smile but i just feel that it's not from within me, my whole soul is just so unhappy. I keep telling myself 元気です,がんばります!! But I just 元気不起来!!
らいしゅのきんようびに、私のたんじょうびです。でも私のだいがこう友達は、わたしのたんじょうびをおぼえません。 すこし悲しです。 ともだちは、いそがしいです。てすとがありますから。Feels abit insiginificant, seems like it's always me who thought of their たんじょうび. It's actually not the たんじょうび that matters but the fact that sometimes I'm the one who's always left out. Haiz, everything seems to be so 悲.
神、どこにいますか? てつだてくださいませんか?
12:08 AM
-Jing Juan-
