Monday, February 26, 2007
Monday monday monday.....Well...i set off to work at 7.20am which was the usual time i go to SP. Was suppose to meet my colleagues as decided on last friday but Candice smsed and said she couldn't meet us at city hall but at Millenia instead. Her sms goes like "hey guys..blah blah" So i thought that she smsed the 3 of us too and so i supposed we'll be going work on our own instead of meeting at city hall. However when i reached city hall i saw Melv standing there still..waiting..and i was like hmmm....i thought no need to meet le..but he said nobody smsed him at all....Hmm.....So? Anyway i said let's not wait anymore cos we'll be late if we do so. He went to buy bread...and because of the super long queue...we met another colleague so the 3 of us walked super fast to work. Along the way Melv said we're late...and i said er..aiyah think nvm de la since we're only temps and plus aiyah ppl always late de. So after meeting Candice at the tower the 4 of us went in to office to report to our boss. the first thing he did was to look up at his clock and said " why u all late?" Anyway the whole office of ppl had already arrived and mostly are already in minor meetings planning for the agenda for the day. So i was like er...wah lao..citibank is really.....really....so so...."yan" loh. My boss had a business call anyway and today we're suppose to have a test...so he didn't ques much...but after..he done his thing....he asked again so now tell mi why are you all late? So we're like er.......er..... he added...you all meet up somewhere right? Try not to be late..don't meet up jus come...and he said alot and alot og stuffs regarding this issue... @.@ Saying..how much we've to put pride in job....shift out time clock to start the day right and early....blah blah..blah..blah.... so early in the Monday morn....we're like @.@ =.=.......
Anyway this is a real challenging job. To me....aiyah..i'm those sloppy sloppy kind.....since i'm a temp i don't really bother much de..and i intend to slack throughtout de loh. But...this job really proves mi wrong.....it's real challenging. I learned alot during the training, neglotiation skills, personal attitude, speaking skills.......today.....everyone of us has to put two fingers into our mouth and speak! It sound dumb loh..really dumb....imagine you go like Ar... Ga...gEr...but he said that Sg likes to mumble.....speak without opening yr mouth..so this is to train us to speak with mouth open in order to prject our conversation clearly. Ya...practically we're laughing loh....haha....Learned alot of stuffs today....but it's confidential...so.....couldn't say much. What i know is that this is so so so different from my previous job in Standard Charted Bank. Hmm.....I was cursing and whinning all the way la n thinking of changing job....bcos it's super tough lo .....really complaining during my tea break in the pantry...all the thing is jus so so much......but i just wan to breakthrough from the lazy me. What's the point of always doing something so monotonous that doesn't require you to use yr brain and think? This job requires me to " sui ji ying bian" and it's not really that monotonous and challenging. So.....aiyah...aiyah....i shall persevere till the end. Haiz. Tml cannot be late again. Melv said we shall meet at 8.05 at cityhall so that we can stroll there and not speeding. So....which means i've to leave my house at 7.15? UrgH................=.=" ZzzzzZzzzz
Anyway i like my colleagues la..those who're on training with mi too..they're really nice ppl..not like the rest of the temp staffs......asked us for lunch then sit by themselves....I'm still more comfortable with my colleagues, at least they're naive like mi..haha...... not like one of the guy temps he's like a wolf shield with a sheep's coat...lol...ops =X... Friday....both of my colleagues will be taking leave for their A level results...so only left Melv and i...and melv said he don feel like coming too...so i was like @.@ oh shit....means i've have to eat lunch with those guys? I don't wan!! Anybody free to find mi for lunch on fri?? At marina Sq.......my treat!! Haha.....wah lao...i seriously don't wan loh.....i shall find some stupid excuses and sneak away......better dun let them see mi eating lunch alone...so damn ps de....Zzzzzzzzzzz
Anybody? Anybody? =(
10:05 PM
-Jing Juan-
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Jus reached home from Amk. Zzz.. i took a super long journey home. Had a super super full steamboat dinner. I realised i had been eating for the pass few days. I went Vienna, Arjisen Ramen, Steamboat and i think there's still alot. @.@ Oh gosh, why? I also wana know why but well....no idea. Anyway i'm going to sign up for kickboxing on Monday with a friend so gota slim down. Slim slim slim.........
Anyway i saw my sec sch friend at amk toilet!!!! AhH.......it's been a long long long time ever since i last saw her. She's my real good friend during sec one and sec two. Why we became gd friends....because our name both have
Jing haha...and we're born in the same month too!! I remember we've endless of things to chat...we can chat in class till the both of us got punished and had to stand outside the class haha. Sometimes during recess time, instead of eating we'll go somewhere to chit chat....My sch is only a walking distance from my hm...but we've too much things to say till i don't mind taking a bus with hm with her. Hee....Anyway it's so shock to see her in Amk loh....i mean why would somebody who live in jurong wanna go amk. Haz........n as usual we've alot to say since we haven been meeting. Hmmm...i wonder if i still has her num...i gota sms her soon.... =)
OoO....gota read my notes le, i don't wana fail my test on monday!!
=.=I'm used to being alone but that doesn't mean i like it~
11:20 PM
-Jing Juan-
Friday, February 23, 2007
Today's Friday.....UrGH.....I don't like it. And why am I at home since yf invited me to Zouk?Hmm... YF:I'm sorry....I just don't like to go such places when I'm extremely emotionally down. I guess you're enjoying =P.
Started my job at Citibank today. It's at Millenia Tower. It's as if like working at those tall tall buildings at Raffles place. The office is so big and I actually have my own cubicle soon after the training provided if i pass the test. Today's the first day of training, tedious and stress......>.<>.<>.<>.< -_-""
Oh..ya i've got somehting funny. My trainer was talking abt bankrupt thingy...and he mentioned....the sentence goes like "Let's say they take to the
pawn shop" so i couldn't really catch him and i got another word that rhyme with
pawn which is
P_R_. Er..shall not elaborate much haha.........but i was really shock initially until i catch the next sentence....Haha...... Hee =X
[
Kj, i'll blame it on you, for polluting my phone with your stupid ill sms, it's yucky]
One has to walk out of his/her own lost world bravely, nobody's able to help except yourself~
9:51 PM
-Jing Juan-
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Spend the whole day at home because in no time i'll be working soon and i know i will miss the day time at home. I wanted to go out today loh but then well you know CNY so there are visitors coming to my house. Haha and of cos i hope to get my ang bao 1st before going out lol but who knows they came so late and worst keep talking n talking then never give ang bao....when they're about to go then give loh so..well by that time it was so late already....so...might as well at @ hm.... Hoho....
I don't know why.....i've been eating and eating and eating alot since yesterday!!! It's either i am super super mad already or else i wont eat that much. during the exams period i was so stress till i ate so little for my meals. I'm not those that can eat alot when stress-up or sad. I'm those that can eat alot especially when i'm cranky, mad, out of mind or whatsoever....Hee... no idea...but i've been eating!!! Tml i'm going to Vienna for buffet too and i'm going to eat till............. i'm full......=D
Starting work on Fri. >.<
Take up the responsibility, leave the ending to God~
9:41 PM
-Jing Juan-
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Just reached home after watching Norbit. Had a good laugh. But i still don't understand why I just feel abit unlike my usual self today. Knowing the truth is something i wana thank God for....There i say the door will close soon because it's not God-centred and ya..it actually did. At least it's now i've known the truth rather then when i sink in deeper. Things could have been worst.
Stop being irresponsible, insensitive and imature. Getting into relationships just because you feel like it or it makes you feel love or whatever? You're just finding a substitude, somebody whom you never even love to satisfy your own selfish desire without knowing that you can actually hurt more people. You haven gotten of the past yet jump into another meaningless relationships? I think you're just lacking of love wanting somebody to care for you that's all. I guess you'll just never understand the true meaning of being in a relationship. I'm just so disappointed, you've ruined the impression i've for you on Valentine's Day. But i'll have to thank you for letting me overcome as well as seeing how bad guys can be. I indeed had a great V. day this year. I guess i have to remove the gifts from my table in case i do think of what i'm not suppose to think abt.
I don't think he'll be reading this but if he happenes to do so...this is what i want to convey.
>.< Haiz.
10:24 PM
So guo fen loh!!!!!!!
There i am willing to give myself another chance to know somebody better yet it didn't turn out what i expected. Alright....fine....i told myself to guard my heart. And i did that so........well..... but abit taken aback too.
I found his blog few days back. I didn't mean to but i just happen to search and on the first attempt i found it. I don't know if the things written by him affects me or I'm just kind of shock? Well......no idea.
A player or somebody that's committed? I've got my answer. So i think it's best not to keep in contact at all and that's what i told him. I'm not interested to become a replacement. Sometimes i seriously don't know what they are thinking. Only regret after pushing away someone they once cherished most.
>.<
I still believe that:
The "happily ever after" stuff is for idealists and dreamers, not realists and critical thinkers.
Previously i was an idealist and dreamer but i guess now i am not i choose not to become like that. I would rather be a realist or critical thinkers.
I promise never to give anybody a chance for now.
12:21 PM
-Jing Juan-
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Had a long chat with my friend....... well as usual he always let me know what's guys up to!! I mean come on.....oh my gosh..... why are you all so complicated? Anyway, i'm just ArAgHhhHh....... if there's a sand bag i would probably punch it like siao just to release abit of my "pek chekness".
So a player or committed person? I've no idea. When the hell i became so......what's wrong with me? After the previous relationship where everything turn out so yucky, i became like this. Thinking that "oh, if you are aftering me, what's up yr sleve"? "Are you a player, despo, someone who only keen on a companion"? I'm just so.....paranoid!! Oh man.......ok right take it easy!! Perhaps because once bitten twice shy and this happen in me!!
Oh~ Ok so maybe i am very " wai biao" never see "nei han". Isn't it perfect if he's a good christian. Oh well....... some doors open while some close, maybe this door is closing soon cause it's not God's centred. Obey God or man? I know the answer. Come on follow!! I'm willing but my body is weak. Why do i keep sinking in? Ok so i better keep a distance from him, less sms and calls. Oh Lord, if this is not from you pls take it away.......
The "happily ever after" stuff is for idealists and dreamers, not realists and critical thinkers
2:19 AM
-Jing Juan-
Friday, February 16, 2007
Mix feelings................
What's the point of dwelling over it since it's all over long ago. A broken glass can never be the same no matter how nice you glued it back right? I get on with my life because i was really busy with all my FYP, school work and everything that make me forget anything that had happened. And of course, deep down in my heart i know this is the right decision to make or perhaps because i am left with no choice. That's why i let it go. Remembered me saying " cherish me, cherish me" but you never. That day was filled with agony, the emotionless feel that i saw from yr eyes, you said "no" and you insisted no and you said you don't want to anymore. I'll never forget such expression from you. So what's the point of getting remorseful now? I seriously think, just let the matter rest.
I'm happy with my life now, not because i've known someone but because i'm free from agony and all.
12:51 AM
-Jing Juan-
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Early in the morning i got nags from two person...ZzzZzzZzzzzz Lol......i appreciate la...but....haz....
Anyway i cleaned up my whole room today. Mop the floor, wipe every single thing that's dusty and run some errands with my grandma. So tired.....
My Ipod is so............the music really not organise loh..........wah had a hard time sorting it...
ZzzzZzz
9:31 PM
-Jing Juan-
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Haiz....It's ok de right? Why am I feeling so weird? Does it really matters if he sms? Don't sms also ok de ma? Aiyo........
Regret of telling the truth? Haiz....... How can i be so selfish? Since I don't even have the intention why continue in such " ai mei" situation? Making him believing as if I am interested. Do I really treat him that nice? Did i? I think it's normal ma. Hai...ok see now i think he will not sms again....
Isn't this suppose to be the right thing to do? Aiyo.........haiz............ Ok life's back to normal...anyway..... haiz...... well if it's planned it will be planned this way if it's not then.....we shall see..... Anyway perhaps we'll meet in NUS since my food sci is also in the chemistry department. Haiz.......
Look....what's there to feel weird? It's just merely without sms and call.... i am fine the way i am....i've been living like this ever since.....its only during the exam period he's extremely nice that's all right? Aiyo....Anyway we're from different era......I am not used to communicating in english.....worst of all our spiritual values are not the same. He's not serving because of erm...restrictions in church, that's what i see...but my opinion isn't like this...Haiz.....so what's the point if he's as if perfect but lacking in spiritual values...but he's really perfect...... haiz..........
Haiz.....ok...fine.....forget it...... got to re-adjust myself back....
Anyway i am quite busy today.....gota look for jobs, dye my hair, clean up my room....blah blah blah.......
10:45 AM
Wad lao.....I super pissed loh!! Stop asking me why le la!!!
ArGhhHhhHhhh.......................................................................
At least i've explain myself. =)
Life's gota be back to normal soon. =)
12:13 AM
-Jing Juan-
Friday, February 09, 2007
I had finished my exams!!!! WooHoOoo.... Yipee!!
Three years of my poly life, i am just so happy and relief! Now it's time for another phase of challenges and stresses but right now i just want to enjoy, serve, work and do things that i like. Wow so many things are popping in my head..ok where should i start?? Hmm.... Hee...
I am happy!! After my last paper, we went out to celebrate, well the usual us. Went to bugis for steamboat. Personally i think, the food there is only alright. Nothing really special but the soup is nice la. Had a happy time there, eatting, scolding, teasing blah blah.... Haiz...happy but sad too...
Gota miss the days when we do our lab work, the laughter, the tedious work, the stupid teasing, the doing of report and datasheets.....I will miss the lecturers, the labs....the times when i stayed in the kitchen with Shu ling n Shu ping for the cookies making....the rushing of fyp...mugging for exams....presentations.....the tutorial class... the big big lecture hall....the Dnd...all the ptns......blah blah....Haiz. Ok..i will be very she bu de...not like somebody(Linnet) Hee........
Anyway gota keep in touch people!! =) WinK*
One side of me is struggling, suppressing, stopping, ignoring, controlling, guarding.....The other side of me is smiling, grinning, blushing.....
11:00 PM
-Jing Juan-
