Sunday, June 29, 2003

Just reached home from afternoon service, after i took off my bag i on the computer as soon as possible to update this blog as i want to watch star search this evening. Hope the girl from Singapore will win, she is very clever i wondered why she wants to join this career. She was offered a place in NUS if it's me i will never give up this position. Hai*.... but i am still trap at Os, sianz*

This morning a friend of lj join our service, he was rather friendly and open, hopes he understands today's service. He is 1.8m tall, wah... really tall.. most of my classmates height are around 1.70m to 1.75m plus, i never meet someone so tall in my life before. haha* First time meeting him, i knew him for less than a month erm.. maybe around a month. Knew him through the forum and through lj. First impression was not bad but i think he is rather tall or i am short, erm* couldn't be lj will look shorter, oppS*This morning's service was great, there were some programmes organised. First there was a testimony shared by a person from our church then followed by singing from those children of our Charis Centre. Wow* they are so cute, their singing was nice too, especially the last song "Zai ni shou zhong" wah... nice, there's a girl who sang the solo wah.. her voice is sweet. Erm* cute... how i wish i am as cute and innocent as them, being a child is fun......

Love feels no burden,
thinks nothing of trouble,
attempts what is above its strength,
pleads no excuse of impossibility...
It is therefore able to undertake all things,
and it completes many things,
and warrants them to take effect,
where he who does not love would faint and lie down.
Love is watchful and sleeping, slumbereth not.
Though weary, it is not tired;
though pressed, it is not straitened;
though alarmed, it is not confounded...

7:04 PM

Wah...... reached home at 12am just on time, whole family had slept, and i tip toe in but eventually my grangma spot me, hehe*Attended a wedding this afternoon, wow* the bride is very beautiful, i do not really know the couple but still attended. The whole ceremony was rather weird, i found out that they do not really have many relatives and friends, it was supposed to start at 2.30 but turned out to be 3 plus instead. Really felt very strange i do not know them yet i attended their wedding, ermz* Then there was a pastor, he explained out the meaning of LOVE, cant really remembered what did L and O stands for but i remembered V is for voice and E is for effort. Loving someone is not easy it really needs courage and effort, to love that person good points and bad points. Need alot of committment and not like changing clothes, i am wondering how can i really accept someone bad point too. Maybe i am still young, my mind is not that mature yet, this things are beyond my control, i am willing to wait upon God to direct me. *Yup* so no need to worry, thankfully i am still young keke*

After that wedding i went to a praise and worship session, wow* it was really cool. During that period i really humble myself down and worship Him, nothing really bothers me at that moment. I experienced and feel God's presence, i really reach out to Him. Everytime i took so long to that closed door when actually a door had been opened for me. Sometimes we are really busy with our daily lives that we had forgotten about God's grace but when i was there i could feel God's grace. Maybe it's only when one humble down and put your heart into it, God will touch you. *Yeah* It was really cool, hoping to attend this type of worship session again.

Took bus 157 home it took only 50mins, luckily i never take MRT otherwise i would reach home around 12.40. Heed XY advise, then she share alot of things with me. About last time when she asked me to join CYM and how she got my contact. I remembered that time it was at a dinner when i got to know her, she tried asking me to CYM. I rejected her alot of times, as i really found it boring, i scared i would be left out and feeling rather weird. I always gave stupid reasons like i not free, going out, having dinner with family and alot more. Then one day she asked me again, at that time i agreed, she was patient never met someone so persistent before. So i went, i found some familar faces as when i was young i came to this church before. However, i stopped coming till when i was in secondary three. Felt quite boring at that moment, but somehow God did something really amazing, when someone asked if i would join again next CYM i agreed without hesitating. Wow*Since then i started to join back this church, God changed my life He put me in a very different environment. My life was like 360 degree changed, my past was horrible but no, God never bothers about my past He still loves me no matter who i am. After i became a christian, one of my best friend told me, "j.j you really change from last time that girl till now a devoted christian" i was really touched when she said that, touched that i could glorify God. God took care of me since the day i knew Him when i was in primary school. He never forsake me yet i always think He had left me. Though they left me, but God gave me grandparents whom really care and concern about me. I must never take them for granted, never...... Then XY told me that i am fortunate, that there are still someone who loves me, even if there is no one, God loves me. My relatives doted on me, i never really experience what other child may get when they were young but it's ok at least i know there are people who support and encourgae me throughout my childhood. I am fortunate really fortunate.

~Lord, i am just a normal girl, a normal person yet you love me so much, more than enough, without you i really cant do anything. Use me, use me to glorify your name and serve you more, direct my paths, tell me where i can serve you and i am willing to follow~Amen

1:51 AM

-Jing Juan-

Saturday, June 28, 2003

Haiz...... they lied to me again, when i reached school today my friends did not turn up, esp. Linda i asked yesterday if she's going school today her answer was yes, i was sure both of them woke up late. Left me alone there for 2 and a half hours, did learn something today and took some notes *heehee did not take for them. After i reached home, did abit of revision on Physics and i went for a nap. I set the alarm clock to wake up 2hours later, when it rung i off it so when i woke up it was already 6pm haha* slept for almost 4 hours, hee*

Joy called me a few days before and told me somethings which happened to her recently. Glad that at least i caould get update with their life, she is starting school hoping when school starts we will still be able to meet up maybe to watch movie or hanging around. Meilian called me today too, erm... suddenly alot of friends called me, those were secondary 2 friends what happened to my secondary 4 friends guess they too busy working and forget about me. Hai*...........

I wanted to eat alot of food recently, my ice-cream tub had finished ,no chips in the kitchen cupboard, i want to eat sushi, chocolates and takopachi and wah... alot more cant list all out. However i cant, have to slim down a bit otherwise not nice le. Initially wanted to go for a jog but i slept till 6 plus so at that moment i was still sleepy cancel that jog instead. erm.. how to cut down???? haiz* Hanging around in the forum looking for tips to slim down but i do not have the determination, a lazy girl like me how to succeed?

I listened to "Music Diary" today, it's a story about a mother and a young girl. She got married two years ago, her family was pleasant and nice and she gave birth she a adorable baby girl. Her husband doted on her and their relatives took good care of her too after the baby was born. However, one day the baby girl had a serious fever, after seeing the doctor the fever still run. After several examination, the doctor found out that the baby had cancer, she could not believe and looked for other doctors instead. Nothing could change the fact that her babby girl had cancer. That time the girl was about a year old, she felt so distraught and sad. Why the sickness never struck her instead, why must it be torturing her young daughter? When her husband and his family found out this matter, they did not want to bear the responsibility so her husband left her alone to suffer. With no support of husband beside her, she was even more upsad, thankfully her mother comforted her. Her daughter had to go through operations, initially the doctor said that she cant survive for long but her mother never gave up. She continued to send her for medications, both of them were very determined to move on despite all thses torture. There were some improvements on the girl's health however after her two year old birthday this year she passed away. Her mother was definitely sad but she had to carry on with her life no matter what happens. ~Inside my heart you will always be my little angel~ that's what the mother told her girl.
This is a sad story, i am fortunate that i have the breathe to go on, at least i live for 17 years but for that girl it was only 2 years. The life ahead will be tough, very tough, but with God carrying me, i will definitely pull over.

~God's love will carry you through any storm~

1:15 AM

-Jing Juan-

Sunday, June 22, 2003

Almost late for service today, set the clock at 7.50am woke up at 8.05am instead. My eyes were still shut then, unwillingly to wake up too. Went to on the heater and all sorts of things, got ready at 8.30 oppz i was late by that time i was supposeed to get out of my house. Still di li dere li eating my breakfast, when i reached the bus-stop it was already 8.50, die how to reached JE at 9. Haiz* Luckily i was not late, if not it would be very embarassing walking into the hall.
Haiz there is a pimple on my face, it's so ugly, when will it be gone?
Friends still not online, wanted to ask them how was yesterday concert. Hm... see if they took any photos back......
My net friend told me, he took some yeah*, see when he can pass it to me. hehe*
Boring nothing really much to blog... erm.. actually i have lots to write but i am lazy to type hehe*

Iam feeling terrible terrible....... having deep problems with my spiritual growth. haiz* Why must all these happened to me. God, can you put me into another corner. So much problems tumbling on me, why me? Sad to see my family members always living in worries. Really envy those children, everytime i went fastfood outlets or anywhere, i can see their parents buying food for them and feeding them. Hai* my parents never bring me to Mac before, never! I don't even remember i went out with them before after so many years there was only a photo left behind and that's it.
haiz* but still glad God give me grandparents. Must really cherish them.

~Dear Lord may your holy spirit touch their heart and bring them back to you. Let them accept this eternal life that you sacrifice~

~Hope to be the like a sun giving out sunlight to everyone~

9:39 PM

OoOOo....JuSt came back from bbq, after bathing and all sorts of things..... initially i did not want to come online as i was too tired but my hair is still wet so i had no choice but to wait for it to dry. Oh yah.. waiting for lj to come, i want to get those pictures we took at the bbq, waiting for her to send me. The bbq was fun, there were three new friends among us, some of them did not turn up due to their sickness. Leon's dog was quite cute but i don't really like to play with it, wondering why all those girls like it so much???? Nothing really special about that dog it is just brownish-white in colour. But it is really "guai" it nevers bark at strangers not like Ivan's dog so horrible, and it nevers lick at people's leg. *HeNg*
I ate so muich food till i was so bloated i will definitely gain a kg when i weigh myself tomorrow, oh no* I learned guitar today, it was fun, now i decided i want to learn guitar then after Os i maybe want to proceed to learn violin. *yeah* Trying to pick up the notes thingy, hoping i can susceed. Better don't be like learning knitting, i gave up halfway, i knitted 1/4 of the bag and it is now left untouch. Listening to the Cd which someone lent me today, really nice now i am copying it to my computer then i can listen to it everyday. hehe* =)

Wonering how's the concert, had they enjoyed? Met them at je control station today, God is really good, when i was in dilema thining where i should go. I wanted to go to the concert partly was to see those stars but actually i wanted to meet my friends, never see some of them for quite sometime. Then today never thought i could meet them, so nice...really qiao but i think somehow God answer my prayer. hEeZ

~God really answers prayer, but seek him whole-heartedly~

12:10 AM

-Jing Juan-

Thursday, June 19, 2003

Listened to "Music Diary" just now, and the dj shared a nice nice story. It was written by a guy for girl whom he love. They had known each other since secondary 3, initially they were only friends but as time goes by they had become very very close friends. He soon developed feelings for her, they chatted and sms everyday their friendship grew stronger day after day. He wanted to tell her how much he felt about her but did not have the guts to do so. Time flew fast, a year had past and now it's a new school term, on the first day of school the first thing he did when he reached school was to find her. Wherever he searched wherever he went, he couldn't find her around in school. That night she called him and told him the news that she have transferred school. Immediately he was stunned by the news, despite all these they still kept in contact through various methods, there were times they went out together too. Everytime he see her he just wanted to tell her how he feels but he did not have the courage to do so. Finally during Dec 31st last year, when they were counting down, he told her " I like you alot can you be my girlfriend". (Wa.....so touching hor but abit lao tu keke) She replied " BU KE YI" ( oh no....why??? so sadz) After he heard this, he cant controlled his emotions and tears went down his cheeks. ( Poor thing) He did not give up, they still went out together. Then this year, he pluck up his courage to " biao bai " again but she still rejected him by saying the three hurting words. Hai*

So poor thing, got rejected for two times. However i am really admired that he is so devoted hard to find such guys now.
Wondering if i will find one, hmmM............ =S

~Wondering who will be looking at that particular star which i am looking right now~
~Wondering if the one i think of, think of me now~
~Wondering.......and wondering......~
~Somehow i wish i can be cloud, white and pure~
~High up in the sky where no one can reach~
~When the wind comes i can float to wherever place i like~
~When the wind stop blowing, i will just remain still at that particular place i like~
(.")(",)

10:34 PM

It Is NoT HaRd To MeNd A BrOkEn HeArT; JuSt OpEn ThE BrOkEn HeArT To SoMeOnE WhO CaN MeNd It

I found this at rw's webby haiz.... who can be the someone....................
Easy to say, but actions speak louder than words............

Nowadays i woke up quite late......around 11 plus.......die... gota be like pig le....haiz... but i think when my school starts it will not happen.......
Nothing really much to blog today... sign*Z

12:27 AM

-Jing Juan-

Wednesday, June 18, 2003

One Night The Star Said To Me..
"If He Makes You Cry, Why don't You Leave Him?"
So I Looked Back At the Star And Say..
"Star! Would You Ever Leave The Sky?"

I found it very cute......... nice phrase.....

Don't go for looks; they can deceive.
Don't go for wealth; even that fades away.
Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.
Find the one that makes your heart smile.

I agreed too, find one that really make your heart smile but not cry.

Friendship is not to keep but to maintain and grow...
It is better to let in end than keeping all the fond memories that makes you bitter....
But love, care and concern and revive any wilted friendship or nourish any stunned growth friendship..."

~He who covers over an offense promotes love, but who ever repeats the matter separates close friends
Proverbs 17:9~

3:19 AM

-Jing Juan-

Monday, June 16, 2003

I like this song very much it is Ai Wo De Zi Ge by S.H.E
Find the lyrics quite meaningful and nice.

Ba shou fang le
wo ye xu hui bi jiao kuai le
wo ye xu hui huan ge qing ren
wo ye xu bu hui zai cheng~
zhen de gou le
neng bu neng rang yu bie zai xia le
neng bu neng ran xin bie zai teng le
neng bu neng bu yao kai deng~
wo men de ai gen zhe ni xie de ju ben chu xian le yue lai yue duo de jiao she
wo shi ni she me ren ru guo bu shi qing ren shi bu shi bu yao zai lang fei wo de ren sheng~
ni bi wo gen qing chu ni dui wo duo hao duo wen rou duo ren zhen bu guo ze ai wo de ji ge
chu fei ni zi kan zhe wo xiang zhe wo zhi you wo, ai ben lai jiu gai du yi wu er~
wei ni shang xin duo yi dian shao yi dian liu xia de yan lei do yi yang bu zhi de
shi jie shang na me duo ren zhi you wo yi ge ren neng zhen jiu zhi ji de kuai le bu zai wei ni ku le~

zhen de gou le neng bu neng ran yu bie zai xia le~
neng bu neng ran xin bie zai tong le
neng bu neng bu yao kai deng
wo men de ai gen zhe ni xie de ju ben chu xian le yue lai yue duo de jiao she
wo shi ni she me ren ru guo bu shi qing ren shi bu shi bu yao zai lang fei wo de ren sheng~
ni bi wo gen qing chu ni dui wo duo hao duo wen rou duo ren zhen bu guo ze ai wo de ji ge
chu fei ni zi kan zhe wo xiang zhe wo zhi you wo, ai ben lai jiu gai du yi wu er~
wei ni shang xin duo yi dian shao yi dian liu xia de yan lei do yi yang bu zhi de
shi jie shang na me duo ren zhi you wo yi ge ren neng zhen jiu zhi ji de kuai le bu zai wei ni ku le~

Chorus~

12:22 AM

-Jing Juan-

Sunday, June 15, 2003

Die, i am dead, going to dead. I am in dilema wondering if i should go to the courage fund concert at Sentosa. I am dying to meet my friends and those stars too, 5566 will be going, Jolin, Elva, Xiao Xiao will also be going. I want to see them so badly but i want to go to the bbq too. How???????? =(
How i wish the date never crashed, sian* now what am i going to do? If i call kj and say i will not be going, he will kill me. And how can i find someone to replace me in such a short time, guess mostly will be working. Initially i thought i will be going to the concert only but did not know that the bbq is too tempting and i feel like going too. If i go for the bbq i think it will take another few months before i can get to see them. Moreover they will be starting school and there will definitely be less time for us to gather again. Yah... they are able to see each other at sp but not me............................................... HAIZ*
=|
Today is the last day i will be online, the next 4 days i will be working hard preparing for Os. This week i had enjoyed enough guess next week it will be tough. Have to start from the begining again, doing all those maths and science revisons. I like those subjects and did not really grumble for doing so much questions. However whenever i stop for 1 or 2 day's break i will have a hard time settling down to study again. This time it is more than a week's break, die........... My life will be tough for the next 4 and 1/2 months, hopefully everything goes fine and soon it will be over. =|

~Finding the song "Zai Ni Shou Zhong"~
~Someone from my church sang it today, it is really very nice and sweet~

5:32 PM

-Jing Juan-

Saturday, June 14, 2003

I want to eat durain, i smell it, someone is having durain near my flat, the smell is so strong. Yesterday was the only day i did not come online, i was restless after i watched managing love 2. Spent the whole day outside, my legs were almost numb. I went to Kinokuniya, saw lots of magazines and comics, really missed those times when me and my friends went to shop for comics. The latest "Wink Up" is out in town but it is so expensive that i cannot afford now. Inside they feature Hideaki takizawa and kinki kids, oh no* i want! However, i still have to wait, wait till the price drop, then maybe i consider purchasing it.

Woke up 11 today, think i was really tired, initially wanted to sleep till 12 but i wanted to catch a programme so i forced myself to wash up. Went to cell group today same as usual then met my friend to go shopping. Wanted to go jurong point but my friend thought i wanted to shop at causeway point so she travelled down to meet me. When we met then she realised i wanted to go back to jurong, she stared me for not informing her in the first place. *Hehe* at least i had someone to accompany during the journey. Had not been to jp for around 2 months, so many shops had closed down and those shops had changed their location. Never really spent money today, just went to trim my eye brow and that girl told me that my eye brow are quite thick. She spent almost an hour trimming it and shapping it, finally it was done, my friend waited like siao. First impression was quite weird suddenly my eye brow became so thin but when i reached home and look at the mirror i found it quite acceptable. =)

Think i am quite addicted to the internet, everyday i must be online if not it's like something is missing or not right. Maybe that is my stronghold, die* cannot let this happen, must have self control. yeah* I already prayed to God and i am sure he will remove it. I called a friend just now and invited her to the service tomorrow, i never inform her earlier. Just feel like calling her and i called, she agreed without hesitating normally most people will. I knew her through Street E, we still contacted till now. It was really amazing, most of them we had lost contact but not her. Maybe this is something God gives me, a person to reach out to. =)~

~Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow~
~Don't be faithless anymore! Believe!~

10:58 PM

-Jing Juan-

Thursday, June 12, 2003

Past few days although i was online, i was was lazy to blog, hehe*. I am listening to "Music Diary" now. Never really revise today, i postpone to next week. On Monday i have to work extreme hard in order to catch up. I was quite lag for the past few days, did not really had the mood to study, still in holiday mood. I got back my results, except for English which i will get back tomorrow. Overall, my results were alright but did not meet my target, when i receive the papers i was so sad. I had done it so badly, I was so disappointed. =( However, i told myself, I will make sure my Os will do well. Today i rotted at home, initially wanted to start my revision but i really did not have the mood to do so. Die, i will be doomed for sure if it keeps on going like this.

Yesterday was a busy day, morning i had a lesson and it ended early. I was alone loitering around at JE, feeling so boring and no where to go. The knitting shop had not opened yet and i was so hungary but i did not want to have lunch alone. Really lonely yesterday, after knitting i had not choice but to have lunch alone if not i would be extremely hungary and i was sure i could not tolerate till the night. Very poor thing right, having lunch alone at coffee shop? Haiz* Then went 307 for a "bible study thingy", learnt quite alot from it. ~Love endures, infatuation is temporary~
At night there was another talk, at the end of the day i was already exhuasted. The journey home was long too, haiz* went home with a empty stomach, want to grab some tibits also cannot. =( The day was quite dull, luckily i got something nice to make my day happier. My friend managed to get the Nemo pouch for me, haha* so big le still crazy about those stuffs. Once i reached home i went looking for my sister, too bad she had slept. Initially wanted to take that pouch to her front and show off but too bad she had slept. Hehe* *evil grin*

Today once i woke up, i went finding her too, hehe never gave up my intention of disturbing her. I took the pouch and swing it around in front of her, haha* After she realised i had the pouch, she said "hey why you have it" haha* I ignored her and went back to my room she did not came after me, then she shouted " chey i don't want ah, i have better things" Haha* Chi bu dao pu tao shuo pu tao suan....keke* I am a bad sis right? Quite alot of things happened, my sister was sick that was why she stayed at home today. The whole afternoon she did not take any nap, same like me rotting around and talking craps. In the evening suddenly i pondered why the whole house was so quiet, finally peaceful too. My sister had fall asleep, no wonder! I did not really bother her then, at 7pm my show had started and there she was sleeping. It was like i was not used to it, so i went to disturbed her. I tried to blow at her eyes but there was not reaction, HmMmz...... i try using my fingers to open her eye lid keke..... the was some reaction.. haha....But she still never wake up. Erm... haha last method i went closer to her, almost touching her face...not to kiss her....yuck* but i opened my mouth and breathe out the air to her nose. Wahahahahz, finally she woke up covering her mouth..... hahahahaZ.... not because i had a bad breath it was just that the air from my mouth was warm. Heehee* laugh out loud.....laugh till non stop, erm.... good way to wake her up. Wahahahz.....=) Hopefully she go back to school tomorrow if not she will be tortured by me again. KeKezZ*

~Be still in the presence of the Lord and wait patiently for him to act~

9:05 PM

-Jing Juan-

Tuesday, June 10, 2003

Hai.......my sister is sick again, this time she got breathing difficulties. Now my mum has to rush her to NUH, initially they went to a clinic to see the doctor. It was fever at the first place, later the doctor found out she had something in her lungs. She came back wearing a mask, when i saw her i burst out laughing. Did not know it turned out to be so serious, when she reached home, immediately she was scolded by all of us. Poor sis, hope she will be fine, keeping her in prayers for the whole night. If she has to be hospitalised, we will all be busy the next few days. Dear Lord bless her.

That's all for today, cant blog much, if not later when my mum call, she cannot get through.

~Count your blessings not your worries~

10:32 PM

Wah...finally can get to update my blog...the webpage is down yesterday...i have lots of things to type.....hehe*
On Saturday i went to cg as usual...that day i woke up earlier abit as lj wanted me to accompany her after her organ lesson. We went all the way from jurong to sengkang, searching for that compass point. I did enjoyed, the trip was not wasted, but it was like from one end travel to the other end. I top up my fare card that day and when i reached home it had only left 1/4 of the money...haiz* That day there was someone giving out free daisies and i got one too, it is still surviving now. Although i do not like daisy, since it was free so i asked for one. Keke*

On Sunday i invited my friend and her friend to service, i think it turned out fine. They had no comments, heng* i thought i would be kanna shoot by her saying it was boring. God really answered my prayers~We were almost late that day, i meet her 8.50 but she only appeared at 9 plus. When she arrived her friend was late too, sign* how could a guy be late, so "mei you feng du". My friend did not bring HP that day, so she could not contacted her friend. Worst, she did not remember her friend HP's number, oh no*...... I called one of my other friend which have her friend's number, so sorry to call that early, i knew she was sleeping, all my friends are pig. Once i got his number, immediately i called him.....asking where was he. After i put down, he came running into the control station, *haha* his reaction was so funny. *Phew*, i estimated the time, should be able to reach on the dot......luckily the service had not start when we reached. I went for afternoon service as well, that afternoon's service was so quiet. Not many people had attended, we were in charged of clearing up. The green bean soup was over cooked and it had burnt, so pathetic i had a hard time scrubbing the pot........*aRgH*....scrubbed for 30min....Really sign* the pot was very, extremely dirty........oh no...however, at last we still managed to clear everything........ Then i went to a craft shop and bought those materials for knitting, i started on the spot. The anutie had a very hard time teaching me, i think she almost vomit blood. I almost vomitted as well, kintting was really hard. Initially i thought it was very easy, i could managed....however i was wrong.... i almost gave up.....hai* "impatient girl" Wah till now me still learning the basics.....*sIgNz*siGn* Might as well go buy one....easiler but my friend said i had no backbone......!!!

So fast today's Monday, i had not enjoyed enough, think i must start revision on thursday, hehe* still have 2 more days left. Went lj house today, waited so long for bus 99 the journey to her house was far too. Erm....
Her room is so messy, things hanging everywhere......my room is neater. Yupz*
Then after the other friend reached, we baked cookie and cake. First time trying to bake the cookie, had a hard time making the dough. Our first attempt had failed, the cookie turned out burnt, it was like a charcoal...haha* too hard to eat. Almost turned her house over....heez not so "qua zhang". I sat on her bed, wah...so hard i wondered how can she sleep. Ermn....maybe because of her bed, that is why she always sleep till afternoon. Is it more comfortable? Keke* hard till like sleeping on the stone. Overall our home-made stuffs were quite sucessful.

Typed so much things.... my fingers could not stand it anymore...that's all for today.

~yin wei tai liao jie suo yi heng shang xin~

12:05 AM

-Jing Juan-

Friday, June 06, 2003

Yay...My exams are finally over today.....I did nothing today except watching TVs rotting around..and ya... asking people out.
Feel like enjoying a few days before i "PiA" for my Os...so i asked a few friends out the following week. Planning to watch movie on monday with Yifang but seemed like she had forgotten all about it. I thought she said sms me tonight, till now still never hear form her......Erm.... Seldom ask her out or hang out together, normally are with friends but this time only the both of us. Erm.... This june holiday i am sure i will be broke,*haha*firstly going to watch movies....then on 21st i am going to watch that SARs outdoor concert invited by KJ. Then i feel like learning knitting.......oh no......... how am i going to survive titill July.....*signZ*Hoping there will be *Qi Ji*...yupz.....maybe money will drop down from the sky.

Today initially wanted to join my friends to celebrate another friend's birthday at MB but too bad i am broke so did not attend. They must have enjoyed, never see them online must be still hanging outside.....Oh yah... good news i will be bringing two friends of mine to this sunday's service. Hope everything turns out fine....those viewer seeing this blog must pray for me okie...=)

*Once my friend shared something with me. She said.....
The saddest thing in the world is to see someone you love, love someone else. Then i correct it to...
The saddest thing in the world is to see someone you love, doesn't love you. Later on, i changed it again.......
The saddest thing in the world is to see someone you love... passed away.
Then i stopped correcting it.... i found out...when you lose someone it is forever.....even if the person doesn't love you can still see him/her but once you lose someone you really love...you never see him/her again*

11:47 PM

-Jing Juan-

Wednesday, June 04, 2003

Erm....I have one more paper to go and my exams will finish, today was really a busy day. I did not bring my handphone to school, when i reached home i found out that i had 4 messages. Then realised that my friends had gone back to collect their O level certificate. They asked if i wanted to meet but i missed the time, immediatly i called one of them and glad that they had waited for me. When i reached school, they chatted with my former form teacher so i collected without waiting for them. *SignZ* My grades were so bad, so embarassed, this is my first time getting such lan results and hope it will be the last. I went to look for my teacher and we chatted, she asked how i am doing nowadays, so paiseh to answer her. However, she still encouraged me, she told me that during her studies at university she had a friend who is older than her by at least 10years. Her friend studied the same year with her, she said her friend had failed A levels and repeated alot of times in order to pass. She told me that one year would pass very fast and must not waste this year any more, just work hard to get it through once and for all. I agreed with her, among all the teachers she is one of the best. No wonder we like her so much. =)

Yesterday someone called me, when i heard his voice i was so shock and baffled. Did not expect him to call, we had not chatted since he graduated. He is one of my nice nice senior, older than me by 3 years. There must be something up to no good when he called, haha*. He asked if i have any friends going SP, he is in a club called " Poly Christian Fellowship" and wanted to pull those freshie going SP this year. Immediately when i heard SP i was too emotional that i almost "shouted" no la... it was just that i suddenly felt so sad that i could not get into SP this year. He was too bemused too, then i told him yes i have plenty of friends going SP but none are christians. Asked if i can join, unfortunately he said "no", *SignZ*, it was okay, next year i will definitely join! Then we chatted alot, like how he was doing, how was his studies and lots more...... He did not know i became a christian too, only untill recently, and he was like quite happy for me. Before we ended our conversation, he told me something "God have better plans for you" and it's true, i agreed with him. =)
I have so many friends, thin, fat, short ,tall, beautiful....(charming and dashing -- ermZ like don't have).=P Except my church members and one very best friend, none of them is a christian. It is a very sad thing, hm... have i do my part???
Those friends i brought may not believe but at least i had planted a seed in their heart and hoping that on day it will grow.

Lastly, 93.3Fm had composed a new song for those medical stuffs, it is a very nice and touching song.....tune in and you will know........

~Ecclesiastes 11:4,6~
~If you wait for perfect conditions, you will never get anything done...~
~Keep on sowing your seed, for you will never know which will grow...perhaps it all will~
(>-<)
(='-'=) GoOd NiGhT~~~
( O:O)

11:35 PM

-Jing Juan-

Sunday, June 01, 2003

Finally i got to taste lingjia's home-made cookie, nag at her so long today then bring to service. I only managed to eat one as i was too full at that moment, so sad but nevermind i am sure she will make more. Next week my exams will start, hope can do well. Why must they go bugis after afternoon service today, why can't they go after my exams. Haiz* How i wish i can go too. While travelling in the 'Mrt' XY called me, asking if i am free tonight, she wants to explain those marked compositions to me. Looks like today i have to rush. Then while sitting a bus home, i saw a 'Ah beng' selling handphone accessories. I kept looking at him, not because he is *Suai*, it was just that suddenly i thought of those times when i was helping my 'distant cousin' at the bubble tea stall. My eyes never left him, just keep staring. He suddenly turned and faced me, *haha* immediately looked away. If not he will *hu shi luan xiang*. That time when i was working at those "Parsa Malum", our stall was always surrounded by " Ah beng" selling "Vcds". Mostly with gold-dyed hair, all were teenagers around my age. Initially i thought it was so unlucky but later, i found it quite good as they always played those pop songs. When i was bored at least there was music to accompany me.

Lucky today i managed to wake up, the clock go "ring"ring"ring" i still did not hear it. When i woke up the clock had stopped ringing, 5 minutes had past. I was still lying on my bed, just don't feel like waking up. After i brushed my teeth, i went back to bed again, lay for another 5 minutes.*Haha* When i looked at the clock, *opps* i am late. Rushed madly to get all my things ready, hopefully i could reach before the service start. Today the pastor shared something very funny and interesting too. Not everything needs to have scientific proof and not everything can be seen. Once in a class was having science lesson, the teacher asked plenty of questions. The teacher asked "can you see those trees, whiteboard and sky. Those pupils said " yes". Then there was one mischevous pupil who asked his classmates, "can you all see the teacher" They replied "yes". Then he asked again " can you all see the teacher's head". Again they replied " yes". Lastly he asked " can you all see the teacher's brain". They replied " no". Then he said in conclusion, the teacher had no brain. Then i realised not everything need to be seen in order to believe. In this world not everything can be explained or proved. How do you know you really like your closest friend or lover can you cut out your heart for them to see??? I pondered for quite sometime, i think it could only be done by showing actions.
~We live by believing and not by seeing~

~A friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find but lucky to have~

3:25 PM

*YaWn* today wake up very very early at 9am.....early right??? Once i open my eyes... first thing that come across my mind was "the song"...i found it....yesh i really found it. It was so amazing... i woke up then my whole mind keep thinking about the song......Once in mrt i heard this ringing tone, i find it very nice and seem familar... but cant recall what song it was. Finally yesterday when i tuned in 93.9fm i heard it....i heard it...it was a song by "Comic Boyz", even though i heard it i still did not know it was the song i am looking for...stupid right?? But really strange.. i woke up this morning thinking about that song and suddenly i remembered it was that ringing tone........*haha* No wonder i woke up so early maybe because i was too happy, i did not know i dream about it the whole night....oh*... But i finally found it! *Yesh*

Yesterday i left something but something was wrong so it got deleted. Yesterday i suddenly had the urge to look at those year books and class photos. It was really meaningful, thinking back the times i had shared with my former classmates. Time really flew fast like a flash, a few years had passed. When i was in primary six i really could not bear to part with my friends. But now i had to part with my secondary friends le....really fast.... few years later i will be 20...*sign* I want to be a teen forever...yah.. only in my "Dreamland" Really nice to think of those times we had shared no matter with who - my primary friends or secondary friends. Friends to share laughter, hardship, tears and somethimes we even quarrel. All these were really the best memories and i will keep it in my heart forever. Friendship is a gift from God, really thank him for putting so many true friends in my life.=)

Today went David's house for cell group, not many people turned up due to exams and some were sick. However, we still had a great time, sharing, praying, worshipping God and listen to his words. Last time when i was busy with my O levels seldom had time to go cell group infact always skipped. Now that i have sufficient time i should spend my saturday going to cell group and not hanging out with friends.*YuP*

Something nice to share....
Life is like juggling five balls - work, health, integrity, family and friends.
All are glass balls except work which is made up of rubber.
When you drop the rubber ball it will still bounce back.
However when you drop the glass balls they will all be shattered.
Learn to cherish those people around you, we are always so busy with our lives that we may neglect those around us.
Learn to balance too, not everything is so important that we must put them at priority.
However those glass balls are really important.

12:31 AM

-Jing Juan-